Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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