Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
