what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
