I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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