I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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