I have demons in me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
