So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
