I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
