i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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