Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
