Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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