Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
