All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
