sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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