He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
