the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
