I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
