check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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