Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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