Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
