Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
