How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
