Where is the hickey?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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