He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
don't judge my taste in strippers
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
