My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
