Whod you bang
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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