The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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