yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
