batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
