I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
