Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
