I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
