Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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