when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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