He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
