I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
