I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
