dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
