she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
