Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just google imaged poop.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
