That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
