Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
