I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
