i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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