What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
