Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
