My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
