good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
