we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
try to milk me bitch
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
