He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
this will be a night to untag.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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