She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
